I am Sorry (From the Heart and Words of a Child)

July 24, 2015

in Autism Challenges, Happiness



I have been taught by my Mom and Dad to say I am sorry when I do something that is not nice. They say that it is okay for me to mess up, but when I do, to stand up tall and apologize from my heart.

My mom says that when I choose to be unkind I am (for a small moment in time) making choices from my mind and my ego. This is a place where I am human. It is also where I make my own  thoughts of what I think about the world, my friends, teachers and family.I guess she is telling me that sometimes I make choices that I think are right, but they may not really be (even if my mind thinks so.)

I may tell my friend who took my bike that I don’t like him, or I may hit the boy who just ran past me and knocked me down. My mom says these things are unkind and come from how my mind thinks things should be fixed, but she wants me to instead respond from my heart.

Well, I told my mom that I do try that. But, it really is so hard to do.

I don’t choose to not like the kid who steals my seat on the bus, it just happens.I get mad when he makes me get up from my seat and move even when I am being kind. And, he calls me mean things. I try to tell my mind to listen to my heart, but  I just don’t like this kid. And, I know if I do something mean back, he will leave me alone. Just how it works with mean kids.

My mom says I am choosing not to like this kid and that  I control what I do, say and think.  And, she wants me to say I am sorry when I am being unkind. She says the way to change the world is to always be nice. She told me to ask myself  if I am being as kind as I can in each moment.

Do you know how hard this is? Does she have any clue?

Adults also can be very unkind to kids like me too. And I don’t see them saying they are sorry when they are. I have been told I am a brat, a punk and a kid that is going no where, and although I know what they say to me is not true, I wonder how come theses adults do not apologize when they are unkind? They say mean things to my mom too about me, yet  my mom just listens. I see the hurt at times from their words, but she stands tall and allows mean words to sort of bounce off her or pass through her.

I know she loves me even if  I am a little different than other kids. And, although I still don’t totally get why I have to be nice to a kid that is mean, I find myself  trying to be kind. Kind of weird, but I would rather grow up to  be a kind adult than a mean one any day.

And, when I mess up and I am not kind, I say I am Sorry because it really is the most important word.

Well, at least according to my mom.

Your Friends,

The Sulsenti Boys

This posts reflects conversations and moments of love between my sons and me. These are heart-to -heart talks and answers they have given me, especially my Aspie. Our journey together as a family has taught me the depths of  kindness, love and patience.  I hope by sharing a  little sparkle of insight into our world, you will join us in teaching kindness and love to all children (and adults as well), especially to those who are not so kind to us. Please purcahse my book, The Overtilted Child if you need guidance on how to help you child overcome ASD challenges. I take you step by step on how we helped our son, Luke. ~Dr. Lisa

Photo is by kmiragaya @ Dollar Photo Club.

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